Wynderlon

I have to wonder what Jane Austen would say if she traveled to the modern era only to find she’s been nearly deified as an author of wild talents; her book Pride & Prejudice adapted multiple times for the screen (as well as many others); a movie about her life taken from letters and conjecture; books by subsequent authors creating sequels to her worlds (some good, some involving Mr. Darcy turning into a vampire *gag*); finding that Elizabeth Bennet has been turned into a zombie hunter; realizing that her [supposed] hair is being auctioned off…

And perhaps most overwhelming: that her characters, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy have become the example of the perfect couple for hundreds, if not thousands, of women and probably quite a few men.

What would that be like? Especially for someone who had to struggle to even get her name on her own work without people disbelieving that she wrote it. Probably better we’ll never find out, she may just keel over from the shock of it. But I’d like to think she’d say something incredibly witty and go off to take a vacation in Bath.

Phoenix Comicon was a lot of fun. I went to every panel that John Scalzi was on, because he’s funny and clever and I like his writing (what can I say? I’m a writer and other writers I like are my rock stars). I was also surprised how funny Wil Wheaton was, but then I didn’t really read his blog before…now I may. Felicia Day was, as expected, funny and sweet. Seth Shostak proved to be a very funny individual, and I really enjoyed attending the panels he was on, as well. I added Confessions of an Alien Hunter onto my “To Read” list (it keeps growing like The Blob ). There were so many exhibitors, too, but I hope that next time the comicon people rent an extra bit of room from the convention hall because most of the time I was snail-crawling my way through crowds. In situations like that, I always think “I need a cattle prod like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons: ‘Excuse me – ZAP! – Excuse me – ZAP!’”

The Star Trek panel was really entertaining and made my inner-Geek go “SQUEE!” I have a lot of fond memories regarding Star Trek: TNG. It was one of the few shows my family could watch together (that and Poirot). I remember us all piling together on the sofa with my younger brother constantly answering questions like “What’s that? What’s happening?” until he’d finally fall asleep halfway through the episode (he was a bit young). And maybe I was odd because I didn’t have a crush on Westley like many of my female Geeky friends admit; I totally thought Riker was the awesome — well, second to Data. Showing my already developing love of reading, all I wanted was the ability to flip through a book and say, “Done.” LeVar Burton, Jonathan Frakes, and Wil Wheaton were entertaining. I think the highlight for me was when LeVar Burton sung the Reading Rainbow theme (ah, childhood memories ) and the audience joined in.

I didn’t have the tenacity to stand in line to meet Felicia Day, Wil Wheaton, LeVar Burton, or Jonathan Frakes. I’m just not a line person and I didn’t have the financial fortitude to pay for autographs. I know, I know, but I had a very limited amount of funds I took to the convention…and I had already spent $10 that day on parking* (I remember when parking was $3 there *sigh*). However the author tables were always so blissfully free of lines and they would sign my books and my program guide, so I spent a few minutes talking to Scalzi where we agreed that Red Matter was a weak plot device (as was midi-chlorians**), although I said my major “WTF?” moment from that movie was when Kirk just happened to get shot onto a planet and just happened to be chased by a monster that led to him just happen to find the cave where Original Spock was who could, conveniently, explain everything to him. Scalzi agreed and then we lamented how we have been banned by our significant others from mentioning any more plot point weaknesses (J.’s exact words to me are “No more comments from the peanut gallery — or else”).

However, by Sunday, I was glad to be heading back home. I suppose that sums up the Con nicely: lots of fun and by the end I was satisfied enough that I wanted to be back in my own home.

* I planned a little better the second and third day by going to the Park-and-Ride and getting on the Light Rail. Love Phoenix’s Light Rail, I think it’s an awesome idea, and I think something similar should be implemented here because there’s one major east-west road that basically spans most of the city.

** Granted, I’ve never been a fan of Star Wars (*ducks the things thrown at her*). I could go into why, and I feel if I wasn’t a writer — if I was more easily able to shut off certain parts of that Inner Critic of mine — I’d like it better. Or maybe I just saw it too late to truly appreciate it and if I had been introduced to it younger I’d've liked it more? I don’t know.

It’s stuff like this that creates the stereotype of “uneducated American hicks” and shows like Smarter than a Fifth Grader. Ugh, “What’s 9 meters in English?” *wince* Painful (but I’d also be lying if I said it wasn’t funny).

According to Comment Central, the strangest book is this gem called The English: Are They Human? I think I’d have to agree — it’s definitely an eye-catching cover due to the title. The book, itself, is showcased on AbeBooks.co.uk’s “weird book room” along with other gems like Is My Dog Gay?¹ and Help! A Bear is Eating Me!²

(When I IMed John the link to The English: Are They Human? his answer was, “No, we’re better than just mere mortals.” )

Anyway, I couldn’t help making a list, too. So here’s Himani’s 10 Strangest Books, In No Particular Order, She Found on the Internet Just Now³:

1. How To Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion
2. The Mullet: Hairstyle of the Gods (Bwahaha!)
3. Pornogami: A Guide to the Ancient Art of Paper-Folding for Adults (Now you too can giggle like an elementary school kid as you fold paper into big penises!)
4. The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls (*gag* I think I saw an episode of Bizarre Foods that went like this)
5. How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art
6. The Haunted Vagina (I’m actually curious as to what this book is about. How is the vagina haunted? Does it talk? Do things pop out of it and say “Boo!”? According to the book synopsis, a guy finds out that, unfortunately, his girlfriend’s vagina is the gateway to another world )
7. Children of the Matrix: How an Interdimensional Race Has Controlled the World for Thousands of Years and Still Does (except, despite the title, the book claims it’s extraterrestrial lizard people controlling humans, not robots, so they mixed up the TV show V and the movie the Matrix)
8. People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It (Sounds like a Stephen King novel)
9. Gangsta Rap Coloring Book (you too can have Little Bobby color in a Glock)
10. Dick: A User’s Guide (just in case you get lost)

I would just like to say there are some weird books out there. Some weird…scary books.